Convince Me
by katos
Summary: AU fic set mid-season 3, Jack and Nina reluctantly begin to work together again
1. Default Chapter

AN: This is an AU fic that picks up mid-3rd season. If you haven't watched third season then you will probably be a little confused. It starts with Jack trying to convince Nina that he's had a change of heart and his no longer working for CTU. The 24 and the characters are the sole property of Fox and unfortunately don't belong to me. The Lyrics at the beginning are from "Anything for you" by Evanescence. Please RR. Thanks, enjoy!  
  
Convince Me  
  
Chapter One  
  
Can you Forget?  
  
I'd give anything to give me to you  
  
Can you forget the world that you thought you knew  
  
If you want me,  
  
Come and find me   
  
Nothing's stopping you so please release me  
  
I'll believe  
  
All your lies  
  
Just pretend you love me  
  
Make believe   
  
Close your eyes  
  
I'll be anything for you  
  
"Convince Me." The words hung heavily in the air for a second. Nina waited, curious to see how desperate Jack really was. To her surprise he closed the distance between them, his lips seeking hers, hesitant at first and then more insistently. A small part of her desperately wanted to believe this, wanted to believe that Jack was truly this disenchanted with the life that had meant everything to him before. She had wanted this for so long. Jack was the only thing that she could never completely let go of. She tried to burn him from her brain. She tried to put enough distance and death and lies between them to allow herself to forget, but now in this moment she realized how fruitless that effort had been. She could sense that he was holding back. He was simply trying to sell his lie in the only way he knew she would buy. She couldn't afford to be believe him, not now, there was too much at stake. Nina pulled back pushing him away slightly.   
  
"I'm sorry." She whispered and his eyes locked with hers. There was something in his expression that she wasn't prepared for. He looked as though he had been waiting for her to say those words, as if he needed to hear them. It was as if by saying them she was shouldering some of the burden of guilt that constantly pressed on his shoulders. She told herself that she had imagined it, that Jack was an excellent actor, but somehow she found herself unable to turn him away.   
  
Nina had meant to say, "I am sorry Jack, I just don't believe you." but those words died in her throat as his lips found hers again. The taste of him made everything else seem strangely distant and unimportant. After all, what did she have to lose? He couldn't kill her, not now she was his only link to the virus and twenty million dollars was a rather tempting prize. She had been so bored for so long that suddenly the risks seemed worth it. The ringing of her cell phone drug Nina forcibly back to reality.  
  
"Duty calls." She said pulling away and fishing her phone out of her pocket and answering it "Myers." She listened for a moment and then snapped the phone shut.  
  
"Amador?" Jack asked feeling the need to say something to keep himself from thinking about what had just happened.  
  
"Yes, I am supposed to meet him in one hour to make the trade." Nina said as she reached forward and without explanation unlocked the handcuffs that secured Jack to the chair.   
  
"Don't make me regret this." The smug inclination of her voice was too much for Jack, she was getting a little too comfortable in her position of power. As soon as his wrists were free of the cuffs Jack reached out griping her firmly by the throat and pulling her to him.  
  
"If you try to play the Salazars, they will kill us both." He whispered harshly in her ear. He released her, pushing her from him and getting to his feet in one fluid motion.   
  
"God, Jack. Do you always have to be so violent?" Nina coughed as she massaged her now sore throat.   
  
"Of course, I realize the Salazars might kill us. Hell, my buyer will want to kill me once I don't deliver, Amador will probably try to kill me just because I know what he looks like, and I am still not entirely convinced you won't sell us all out to CTU; some how the twenty million dollar pay-off makes it seem worth the risk." Nina said getting to her feet. Jack looked at her clearly disgusted with her mutability.   
  
"I'm assuming the Salazars will want to talk to me. Call them." She ordered tossing Jack the phone  
  
~~~  
  
An hour later Nina stood across a small wooden table from Amador. The Salazars had agreed, somewhat reluctantly to her price, once they had realized that she truly was their only option and that they would be getting the virus for less than half of what they had initially expected to pay for it. Nina placed her metal case on the table and Amador did the same, opening his to reveal a small vial filled with violently green liquid.   
  
"May I?" Nina asked removing the vial from the case and inserting it into a machine designed to test its authenticity.  
  
"Be my guest." Amador stated even though it was clear that she was not asking his permission.  
  
"Once I've established that this is indeed the virus, then the funds will be transferred to your account as agreed." Nina turned her lap top around to demonstrate that the account was open and ready for transfer. The machine beeped indicating that it had finished its test.  
  
"Well it appears this is the genuine article." She bent over her lap top and began to initiate the transfer. Amador removed the vial from the machine and made to walk away with.  
  
"What the hell do you think your doing?" Nina asked eyeing him suspiciously.  
  
"Just holding this for safe keeping until, the transfer is complete." Amador said in his smuggest British dribble. Nina raised her eyebrows incredulously.  
  
"I don't think so. If you walk away from me with that then the deal is off." Her voice left absolutely no room for argument.   
  
"The transfer's complete." She indicated the monitor and then stretched out her hand. "I'll take that if you don't mind." He placed the vial somewhat hesitantly in her hand.  
  
"Always a pleasure doing business with you." He said his mouth curling into an obnoxiously arrogant smile. Nina wordlessly turned away, slipping the vial into her jacket pocket, and walking off into the night to collect what she was owed. As soon as she was out of ear shot Amador slipped his phone out of his pocket.  
  
"I wasn't able to make the switch. You'll have to kill her."  
  
~~~  
  
  
  
"Did you get it?" Ramone Salazar asked as soon as Nina had returned.  
  
  
  
"Of course I got it." Nina said somewhat irritated that he would even ask. Jack who had been leaning against a metal shed a few feet away came and joined their conversation.  
  
  
  
"Well Jack I've got to admit you were right." Ramone said acknowledging Jack and then turning to face Nina again. "Hand it over."  
  
  
  
"Pay me first." Nina said unwaveringly. Ramone smiled condescendingly at her like she was a child who had just stated adamantly that Santa Clause was real.  
  
  
  
"Kill them both." He said motioning to the gun men behind him.  
  
  
  
"Ramone, we had a deal." Jack said fervently. "I put my ass on the line for you."  
  
  
  
"And I thank you for that, but unfortunately you have outlived your usefulness." Nina stepped past Jack stealthily slipping the vial into his pocket as she did so.  
  
  
  
"If you kill me you'll never find the virus." She said evenly.  
  
  
  
"That's ridiculous." Ramone laughed incredulously.  
  
"Fine, but what if I'm telling the truth. How do you think all the buyers you've promised the virus to will react when you can't deliver?"  
  
  
  
"Search her." Ramone growled to one of the men behind him. The man complied and roughly patted her down but found nothing. At this Ramone pulled out his gun and pressed it firmly against her temple. "Tell me where the virus is you bitch!" he yelled.  
  
  
  
"Pay me and I'll tell you!" Nina yelled back.   
  
  
  
"Fine." Ramone said after a long silence, realizing that he was once again out of options. Nina opened her lap top, handing it to him.  
  
  
  
"Twenty-million, to that account." Nina ordered and Ramone reluctantly authorized the transfer. "His too." Nina said motioning towards Jack.  
  
  
  
"You are more trouble than your worth." Ramone spat.  
  
  
  
"Oh, I'm deeply offended, just do it." Nina quipped her voice oozing with smug sarcasm.   
  
  
  
"Fine it's done. Now tell me where the virus is." Ramone violently snapped the lap top shut and handed it back to her   
  
"Once we are safely awa…" Nina started but she was suddenly thrown to the ground by a burning impact to the shoulder. Ramone spun on his men trying to figure out which one of them had fired. As he did so they where bombarded by a hail of gunfire, clearly from the hills above. One of the bullets caught Ramone in the head and his men scattered desperately seeking cover. 


	2. Best Deceptions

AN: Well here's the next chapter. The usual disclaimers apply. The Lyrics at the end are from "Best Deceptions" by Dashboard Confessional. Please RR.  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Best Deceptions  
  
Jack ducked instinctively, grabbing guns and an extra clip off of one of the dead guards. He thought for a second that the shots had been fired by delta force, but that just didn't add up. They were still too far away and they wouldn't have aimed to kill the only two people who could possibly provide information on the virus.   
  
Three feet away Nina gasped as she tried to force herself to her feet using her uninjured arm. Jack turned to go, to leave her to a ruin of her own creation, but something stopped him. He realized that if these people wanted her dead so badly then she must know more than she had originally let on. He turned around gripping her firmly under the arm and helping her to her feet and pulling her into a small space between two of the metal sheds.  
  
"Thanks." Nina said more out of surprise than gratitude. She leaned against the wall, blood seeping through her shirt and down her arm. Jack didn't respond. He cocked his gun and looked around the corner trying to see where their assailants were. A bullet ricocheted off the wall mere inches from his head, forcing him to take cover. Nina slid against the opposite wall until she had a clear view of the hill.  
  
"Ten o'clock and Two o'clock moving west." Nina said slipping back into the familiar role of Jack's partner. It always surprised her how easily she fell back into it. Jack ducked around the wall again picking off the two gunmen from the marks she had given him.  
  
"Jack, I need a gun." Nina stated as if it were the most normal request in the world.  
  
"Absolutely not." Jack said incredulously.  
  
"Look, I realize you don't trust me, but we are out numbered and severely out-gunned. The only chance we have of getting out of here is to help each other." Nina said earnestly her voice ragged with pain.  
  
"Just because I didn't leave you die doesn't mean we are suddenly in this together." Jack's voice was low and angry. He was angry with her for asking, for once again being his only option, and most of all for being right.  
  
"Like it or not that is exactly what means and even you know you won't make it out of here alone." They were bombarded by another hail of gunfire. "Give me a gun Jack." Nina said insistently holding out her hand. Jack reluctantly complied, knowing he would most likely be sorry for this later but seeing no other way out.  
  
"Don't make me regret this." He growled. The second the gun was in her hand Nina leveled it with Jack's head and pulled the trigger. The shot hit its target six inches to the left of Jack, just beyond the edge of the wall and one of the unknown assailants fell to the ground with a bullet in his brain. Jack stood frozen for a second trying to process what had just happened and frankly a little surprised to be alive.  
  
"Took you long enough." Nina said slight grin.  
  
"We can't stay here." Jack maneuvered around so he could see out the back of the shed. "Can you run?" Jack said eyeing the growing bloodstain on her shirt.  
  
"Yeah." Nina said forcing herself to ignore the throbbing pain just below her shoulder. The bullet had gone straight through and they had no way to stop the bleeding.   
  
"The Salazar's camp is right over that hill. If we can get there we should be able to lay low for a awhile." it wasn't much of a plan but it would have to do for now. Jack checked once again to make sure that there were no shooters watching their exit.   
  
"Ready?" he asked once he was satisfied that the coast was clear. Nina nodded and they made their way quickly and cautiously over the unfamiliar terrain.  
  
~*~  
  
They reached the shed where Chase had been held earlier that day and ducked inside of it. Nina swayed slightly the pain and blood loss starting to make her feel weak and nauseous. Jack checked to make sure no one had followed them. Nina slid down against the wall, slowly working her arm out of her jacket and wincing as she did.  
  
"We've got to do something about that." Jack said motioning towards the still bleeding wound.  
  
"I'm open to suggestions." Nina said with a derisive laugh colored with pain. Jack walked over and knelt beside her helping her slip her shirt off over her head.   
  
"It's a through and through there's no way to put a tourniquet on it." Jack said looking around for anything he could use to stop the bleeding. He spotted the small stove in the corner. He walked over and removed one of the irons from the fire then returned to kneel beside her.  
  
"This is going to hurt." He said matter of factly.  
  
"Thanks for the warning." Nina said the sarcasm in her voice doing nothing to disguise the fear in her eyes. "Just do it."   
  
Jack pressed the burning hot iron into the fresh wound allowing the heat to cauterize it. Nina thought for a second that she was going to pass out from sheer pain. She let out strangled scream as Jack repeated the process on the exit wound on her back. He then tore a strip from his shirt and used it to immobilize her arm against her chest.  
  
"I can't help but think that you enjoyed that." Nina said with a weak smile and then her eyes fluttered shut finally allowing the darkness to shut out the pain. Jack checked her pulse making sure she was just unconscious and then slipped Nina's cell phone out of her jacket pocket. He stepped just outside the door of the hut and dialed the familiar number.  
  
~*~  
  
"Almeida." Tony answered snatching the phone of his desk.  
  
"Tony, it's me." Jack said pacing as he talked.  
  
"Jack, what happened? Are you okay? Did you get the virus?"  
  
"We were ambushed. I am not sure who by. I have the virus, but the fact that these men tried to kill us makes me think it is part of a bigger plan." The pieces started to fit together as he spoke.  
  
"What do you mean bigger plan?" Tony asked.  
  
"I don't think this is the only vial of the virus Amador is in possession of." Jack said, now positive that he was right.  
  
"What do you want to do?"   
  
"I need you to run down Amador's contacts, anyone he's been in close association with recently. I have Nina Myers with me and I think that she knows more about what's going on than she's telling. I'll press her and see what she knows."   
  
"Jack, be careful." Tony said recalling the last time Jack and Nina had worked together.  
  
"I'll be in touch." Jack said curtly hanging up the phone.   
  
~*~  
  
Inside the shed Nina shifted slightly and was jolted awake by the sharp pain of the raw wound rubbing against the hot tin of the wall. She looked around the empty shed shifting again and trying in vain to get comfortable. She heard the sound of Jack's voice and paused to listen.  
  
"Tony, it's me." She heard him say. So Jack was lying, he was still with CTU and this had all been an elaborate ploy to get the virus. Well, this changed things. She resented the fact that she hadn't seen through it immediately. Was she really so pathetic that one kiss was all it took to convince her, she forced herself not to think about the way his lips had felt on hers. No, she knew that wasn't true. She had been supicious from the start, she had just been willing to take the risk. She knew that she couldn't get out of here by herself but she also knew that there was no way in hell that she was going back to federal prison or sticking around until Jack's urge for revenge finally got the better of him. She needed a plan, leverage. She would lie to him again. She heard Jack's foot steps walking back towards the shed. She closed her eyes and slumped back against the wall as a plan began to take form in her mind.  
  
Don't you see, don't you see,  
  
that the charade is over?  
  
And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.  
  
So kiss me hard  
  
'cause this will be the last time that I let you. 


	3. Stronger Than Ever

AN: Here's the latest installment. I am sorry it was slow in coming. I hope you guys enjoy it. The lyrics are from Tara MacLean song "If I Fall." Please let me know what you think.   
  
Chapter 3  
  
Stronger Than Ever  
  
Nina snapped awake the next morning with Jack's hand pressed over her mouth. He put a finger to his lips instructing her to stay silent.  
  
  
  
"We have to go." He whispered his voice barely audible. Nina heard the sound of someone's feet crunching in the gravel just outside. She nodded getting slowly to her feet her body stiff and sore from the night before. Jack made his way towards the back door of the shed and edged it open and surveying the landscape around them looking for a viable escape. The ground sloped down behind the shed and a black SUV was parked on the road roughly ten yards from them. Jack motioned towards the SUV and they made their way wordlessly down the incline towards it, careful to stay low and using the terrain to shield them from view. Once they reached the vehicle Jack tried the driver's side door and was relieved to find it open. He slid into the seat and checked the visor, which of course weren't there.  
  
  
  
"Cover me. Once they hear the engine start they'll know exactly where we are and we'll have to move fast." Jack said as he leaned across the seat and popped open the glove box looking for anything he could use to hot wire the car. Nina pulled her gun with her good hand and pressed against the side of the car keeping careful eye on the hills above them. Inside the glove compartment Jack found a stack of various papers and a small vial of familiar clear liquid and a syringe which he slipped into his pocket without really even thinking about it. Finally he found a hunting knife and used it to pry the wires lose and get the car started.  
  
  
  
"Get in." He said as soon as he heard the engine rev. Nina jumped hastily into the passenger seat and as predicted they were met with a hail of gunfire. On of the shots shattered the back windshield as they sped along the dirt road.  
  
~*~  
  
After they had been driving along the road for quite a while Nina finally broke the silence.  
  
  
  
"Where exactly are we going?"  
  
  
  
"Renosa, I have a contact there that can help us get out of the country." Jack said keeping his eyes fixed on the road.  
  
  
  
"Renosa?" Nina questioned.  
  
  
  
"It's a small town south of the Texas border." Jack explained.  
  
  
  
"Yes, Jack, I know where Renosa is and while the geography lesson was entertaining that wasn't what I was asking." The sarcasm in her voice was palpable. She was baiting him and she was enjoying it.  
  
  
  
"What then?" Jack asked exasperation creeping into his voice.  
  
  
  
"If you are trying to get off the continent, the last thing you want to do id head back towards the American border. I know a guy in Mexico City who would be much safer to use." Jack cut his eyes angrily towards her.  
  
  
  
"We're using my guy in Renosa." Jack said adopting the finality he used we gave Kim the "because I'm your father" speech.  
  
  
  
"That makes no sense. Now that we have the virus every border patrol agency will be looking for us. Going to Renosa increases our risk of getting caught exponentially." Nina said bristling at the condescension in his voice. Jack said nothing he just kept his eyes on the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles blanched.  
  
  
  
"Oh, I get it. Your good solider mentality can't handle the fact that you just scored big while simultaneously screwing over Uncle Sam. Now, you feel you need to take unnecessary risks as some form of penance." Her words dripped with mocking.  
  
  
  
"No." Jack said his voice barely audible.  
  
  
  
"Is there more to that or am I supposed to guess." To Nina's surprise Jack suddenly stopped the car. Throwing it into park and turning to face her.  
  
  
  
"No, we are going to Renosa because we are going to be using contacts that I know and trust. We will not be using your guy in Mexico City because frankly I don't trust you. And while I haven't acquired your comfort with betrayal and discounting collateral damage, I have absolutely no intention of going back there. If you still aren't okay with that then get out now and see how far you make it on your own." She held Jack's stare for a long silent moment.  
  
  
  
"Fine." She said finally looking away. Jack started the car again and they continued on in silence.  
  
~*~  
  
By the time they reached Renosa night had fallen heavily on the desert and the stars stood out brightly in the darkness. Jack pulled up outside of a small dusty building. Swinging precariously from one hinge was a hand painted sign that read "motel."   
  
  
  
"We can stay here for the night." Jack said parking the car as far from the road as possible to avoid it being recognized.  
  
  
  
"Oh, Jack, you take me to the nicest places." Nina said rolling her eyes as she got out to stand beside the car.  
  
  
  
"I'll go get us a room." Jack said heading off to what he assumed to be the office. Nina leaned back against the car. Her shoulder was stiff and throbbing from sitting still all day and her mind was reeling. What was she doing? She had to make some kind of play and get out of here but every time she tried something stopped her. She couldn't quite put her finger on it…curiosity…boredom. Messing with Jack was like playing with fire, it was fun for a while but inevitably you get burned. Jack had been the closet thing she had ever felt to love and the closet she had ever come to ever having a worthy adversary, it was a strange combination. Every time she saw Jack she was overwhelmed by the temptation to see just how far she could push him until he snapped.  
  
  
  
"We're in room 9." Jack said walking up from behind the car. "And I grabbed you this." He held out a pink t-shirt with Mexico scrolled across it. "If we are going to get anywhere you can't keep wearing that." He gestured towards her blood stained shirt.  
  
  
  
"Yeah, I guess the bullet hole is a little hard to explain." Nina said reaching out and taking the shirt "You had to get pink didn't you." She shook her head and smiled slightly.  
  
I thought I had it in me  
  
I used to be so sure  
  
There I was stronger than ever  
  
Here I am blaming the hurt  
  
And if I fall  
  
I will find a way back to my hands  
  
I'm the only one who can help me find my feet  
  
Again  
  
Sweet little fighter  
  
Sweet little scar  
  
Sweet little fire in my heart 


	4. lose control

AN: Well, here is chapter 4. Once again I apologize for the delay. The lyrics at the end are from "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benetar, one of my guilty pleasures. This chapter was a blast to write and as always please let me know what you think. The usual disclaimers apply. Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Lose Control  
  
The sound of glass shattering pulled Nina from her sleep. She sat bolt upright in bed, a sharp pain in her shoulder instantly making her regret the sudden movement. She scanned the room, her eyes slowly adjusting to the semi-darkness. The couch where Jack had been when she had finally drifted off to sleep was now empty. He was instead sitting at a small table in the corner of the room staring intently at the far wall. She followed his gaze and saw the wet smear on the wall and the small shards of glass scattered on the floor below it. It was then that she saw the syringe on the table and Jack's rolled sleeve and exposed vein and the pieces began to fall into place. Nina slid out from between the sheets and walked over to claim the chair next to him.   
  
"So I guess you weren't planning on sharing with the rest of the class." Nina said. Jack didn't look at her he just closed his eyes in frustrated exhaustion and let the tourniquet off of his arm.   
  
"I promised myself…never again." He said quietly.  
  
"How long has this been going on?" Nina said her voice uncharacteristically void of judgment or sarcasm.   
  
"Almost two years." Jack said still refusing to meet her eyes.  
  
"So I guess you weren't kidding when you said you gave the Salazars your soul." Nina said almost flippantly as she leaned back into the chair, absent-mindedly massaging a crick out of her neck. It was then that she noticed Jack's hands were shaking slightly and all of the marks on his arm were healed. He had shattered the bottled before he had used any of its contents. Nina was startled by the broken, self-loathing man who sat before her unable to let himself ease the pain or let go of it. Jack had always seemed so impervious. Sure, she had seen him angry, she had even seen him scared something not many people could claim, but she had never seen him like this. Nina was faced for the first time with the realization that he was broken and she was the one who had broken him. This thought brought a flood of conflicting emotions that she had neither expected or was prepared to deal with. She tore her eyes off him and stared into the darkness.  
  
"You can compromise once…" Her voice was soft, little more than a whisper.  
  
"What?" Jack questioned turning to face her for the first time since she had sat down.   
  
"Nothing." Nina answered quickly, she hadn't really been aware that she had said spoken aloud. They sat for a moment in silence and she reconsidered.   
  
"It was something that you said to me a long time ago. You said that all it takes is one compromise and pretty soon you lose yourself and all you can do is compromise." Her voice was even but her green eyes portrayed more than she meant them to. She resented the realization that slowly spread across Jack's face and quickly switched gears. "It struck me as ironic back then and it seems even more ironic now." She gave a bitter half smile as she spoke.   
  
"Yeah, if someone had asked me three years ago where I saw us ending up, I don't think terrorist and drug addict would have been my first answer." Jack answered in an uncharacteristic display of humor. He was simply too tired to get angry. Nina smiled a bit surprised by his answer, she could tell he was exhausted. She saw her opportunity and she took it.  
  
"Jack, I know you're still working with CTU." She said matter-of-factly. Jack leaned back in his chair his face unreadable. "I heard you on the phone the other night and I know the only reason that you are keeping me around is because you believe I have information that could be useful to you."  
  
"And do you?" Jack asked still letting her lead the conversation curious and bit apprehensive as to where this was headed.  
  
"Yes, I can give you information on Amador, his associates, and my buyer. I'll give you everything I know and work with whoever you want on one condition."  
  
"And what would that be?"  
  
"I am never going back to prison. As soon as I'm done I'll leave the country and never come back." Nina leaned forward as she spoke. Jack stood up quickly grabbing the arms of her chair and turning it forcibly around so he was less than inches from her face.  
  
"That sounds oddly familiar except last time you said it you had a gun to my head so you were slightly more convincing. What makes you think I would ever trust you enough to agree to that?" Jack's voice quickly switched from cynicism to anger as he spoke. Nina was not all surprised by his reaction.  
  
"The way I see it trust has nothing to do with it. I am your only chance of saving millions of people from an agonizing death. I know you Jack, I know that you would do anything to safe those people and that nothing, not even your intense hatred of me, would prevent you from taking the only solution you have." Nina's voice sounded mockingly triumphant. She had him in a corner and she was curious to see how he would react. They had played this game so many times, every time the same pattern, and every time the stakes seemed higher. Jack's hands tightened on the arms of the chair.  
  
"Fine." He said finally "But if your information proves useless or if at any point I even suspect that you are lying to us or being less than forthcoming, I will take action you will regret." Jack's voice was deadly serious and Nina felt the slight shiver run down her spine, she had always found Jack particularly sexy when he was angry.   
  
"Fine." She said after a short pause. Jack stared at her intently for a long moment. Still inches from her, breathing heavily from barely contained rage, his eyes daring her to try anything. After what seemed like eternity Jack reclaimed his chair, he rested his elbows on the table wearily massaging his temples with one hand.   
  
Nina got up from her chair and went to stand by the window her arms crossed across her chest. She stared out at the star filled sky and realized how much she hated this. Fighting with Jack was always a rush and winning was especially thrilling, but she hated the walls and the lies that isolated her. Here in this room, in this moment, having once again manipulated herself into a dubious position of power she felt more alone than she had ever felt in her life.   
  
"Nina." Jack said and Nina was suddenly acutely aware that he was watching her. "Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Shoot." Nina instructed perching on the edge of the bed.  
  
"Why?" Jack asked earnestly.  
  
"Why, what?" Nina asked.  
  
"Why did you do any of this? Why did you betray CTU? Why did you sell us out? " Jack waited for an answer, expecting a lie. And Nina gave him one, one she had practiced so many times she almost believed it.  
  
"Because I was bored and under appreciated and it was so easy. Not, exactly the insightful answer you were hoping for, but that's the reason. I was disenchanted and it paid well. It was never personal." Nina refused to look away as she spoke, knowing that Jack was scrutinizing her every move looking for any hint that she was lying. Jack stared at her sadly for a long moment and then finally looked away. She had given him the answer he had expected, but hoped she wouldn't give.  
  
"Yes it was." Jack said flatly getting up going to stand beside the window.  
  
"Please, don't flatter yourself…" Nina started, his words rubbing old scars, but Jack cut her off.  
  
"You were my partner and my best friend. I trusted you with everything. Hell, I even trusted you with my family and you lied to me. You lied to me everyday, you put my family in danger, and you killed my wife. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't curse my own stupidity for not seeing through you." Jack paused his voice full of guilt and sadness. "So whether or not it was personal for you, it was for me." Jack's voice cracked slightly as he spoke it was clear that this admission was costing him dearly. Nina was completely taken aback by Jack's display of vulnerability. She turned away; she couldn't bear to look at him and for the first time she felt something inside her start to ache desperately. She wanted him, she wanted to go back, she wanted things to be different, she wanted to be different.  
  
"I'm sorry, Jack." For the first time in her life she actually meant those words. She offered no justification; no excuse just a simple apology. She got up and stood beside him. They both stared out the window into the darkness; each isolated by the wounds of the past and neither sure how to proceed. Nina placed a tentative hand on his arm willing him to look at her.  
  
"I am sorry for the pain I caused you and if I could go back and change things I would." Even as she spoke them the words seemed hollow and inadequate. It was more than she had ever given anyone and somehow it still didn't seem enough. She leaned forward and kissed him lightly unable to think of any other way demonstrate her sincerity. He didn't respond and she instantly regretted it. She returned to staring out the window.  
  
Jack stood stiff and silent for a long moment and then to Nina's surprise he turned, pulling her to him and kissing her deeply. There was nothing tender or hesitant in his actions it was pure unadulterated hunger. Nina staggered back under the intensity of the kiss. Her back hit the wall and she coiled her arms around his neck savoring the taste of him. Years of loneliness and repressed desire, she never admitted she felt, boiled to the surface. His hands found the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head throwing it onto the floor. She began to work the buttons of his shirt, ripping one off in hurried distraction. His lips found the curve of her neck and she gasped still not completely believing that this was happening. She took his face in her hands and pulled him back up to meet her lips . They covered the short distance to the bed continuing to shed clothing as they went. They tumbled back onto the bed. Jacks hands traced the curves of her memorizing the strange collection of scars she had obtained in the years since they had last been here. They were two perfect equal opposites thrown together again by the incomprehensible hands of fate, finding each other once again in the only way they knew how.   
  
~*~   
  
It would help me to know, do I stand in your way  
  
Or am I the best thing you've had?  
  
Believe me, believe me, I can't tell you why  
  
But I'm trapped by your love, and I'm chained to your side  
  
We're losing control, will you turn me away  
  
Or touch me deep inside?  
  
And if all this gets old, will it still feel the same?  
  
There's no way this will die  
  
But if we get much closer, I could lose control  
  
And if your heart surrenders, you'll need me to hold 


	5. Panic

AN: Hey guys, sorry this has been so long in coming. This chapter was actually very difficult to write. I hope you enjoy. Please R&R. The lyrics at the beginning are from Jem Griffith's "Save Me" (if you haven't checked out this cd I highly recommend it, she has a whole song dedicated to 24)  
  
Convince Me   
  
Chapter 5  
  
Panic  
  
Why would I think such things   
  
Crazy thoughts have quick wings   
  
Gaining momentum fast   
  
One minute I am fine   
  
The next I've lost my mind   
  
To a fake fantasy  
  
Insecurities keep growing   
  
Wasted energies are flowing   
  
Anger, pain and sadness beckon   
  
Panic sets in in a second  
  
The pale light of early morning was just beginning to spill across the room when Nina awoke the next morning. She blinked trying to will herself awake, she felt as if she hadn't slept at all last night. She shifted slightly and was suddenly very aware of someone's hand resting on her waist. She realized with a start that the hand belonged to Jack. She was lying there with her head on his chest, his arms wrapped around her waist in a tangle of sheets. Nina thought for a brief second that she was either dreaming or she had stumbled back in time, but the memory of the strange events of the night before gradually began to materialize in her mind. A small smile played across her lips as she thought of how he had kissed her. He had not held back this time and for the first time in years there had been no lies hanging between them. As strange as it seemed last night had been the most honest time they had ever shared.   
  
As the growing light removed any remnants of sleep, the brief happiness Nina had felt was replaced with a strange sort of panic. What was she doing? Lying here acting as if one night was going to make everything all right. When had she started wanting everything to be all right? Had she lost her mind? She remembered the last time she had let herself care about Jack. That was definitely not an experience she was anxious to repeat. She slipped out of Jack's arms, careful not to wake him, and began to collect her scattered clothes off of the floor, dressing rapidly. Last night had been a mistake. Blame it on the gunshot wound, or Jack's being vulnerable with her for once in his life, or Mexico. Whatever the reason, last night had definitely been a mistake and now she had to get out.   
  
Nina rifled through Jack's jacket pocket, pulling out the small vial of the virus. If she was leaving she definitely was not doing so empty handed. She grabbed her phone and Jack's gun off of the bedside table. She was leaving him with nothing, he had let her in again and once again she was taking everything. Nina silently slipped out the door into the fresh heat of the morning air.   
  
Once outside, Nina stopped. The panic that had had allowed her to think of nothing but running away was ebbing slightly. Here she was once again fully prepared to run, to disappear, and she realized it was the last thing she wanted to do. She was suddenly very aware that she was simply running away, she wasn't running to anything. This had been her life for the past year drifting aimlessly from place to place, cause to cause, man to man. Cutting her loses and running away whenever fear, self-interest, or boredom compelled her onward. She was tired of running.   
  
Last night was the first time in a long time that she had felt alive. She hadn't had to lie, she hadn't had to weigh the risks and the benefits, she had simply let go. And now that the moment had passed she found herself unable to run and that inability terrified her. Nina stood for a long time staring at the open road, two conflicting desires desperately warring in her mind  
  
---  
  
Jack squinted against the sunlight that was now flooding into the room. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he groggily sat up. It took a second before all that had happened last night crashed down on him. He had no idea why it had happened and trying to understand it made him feel more exhausted than he already was. He was not at all surprised when he noticed that the other side of the bed was abandoned. He had not expected Nina to stick around in the morning. He stood and slowly began collecting his clothes off of the floor and getting dressed. He saw that the gun and phone where both missing from the night stand and reached for his jacket with a growing feeling of trepidation. He swore aloud when he found all the pockets empty. The virus was gone. Nina was gone and she had taken everything.  
  
"How could I have been so stupid?" Jack asked aloud.  
  
"Is that a rhetorical question or do you actually want an answer?" a familiar voice questioned. Nina was sitting at the small table in the corner of the room, the gun, the phone and the vial of the virus all arranged in front of her. Jack stared at her blankly for a long moment silenced by surprise. Jack knew that he was exceptionally good at reading people, but every time he thought he had a read on Nina Myers she did something completely crazy that pulled the rug out from under his world.   
  
Nina looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something. She saw about a dozen emotions play across his usually stoic face and she was curious to see which one he would choose.  
  
"I expected you to run." He said finally.  
  
"I thought about it." Nina saw his eyes fall once again on the small collection of necessities on the table and knew that he realized just how close she had been to disappearing. Jack opened his mouth to say something but words failed him. When he looked at Nina again something in his expression took her by surprise. It was as if he could see the emptiness and loneliness that really scared her, scared her badly enough to keep her here.  
  
"Jack, I've got to say, you're much more fun than you used to be." She said getting up to keep herself from squirming under his gaze. " I mean drugs and sex with a fugitive in a seedy Mexican motel. I always thought you were more interesting than your typical civil servant." Nina smiled sardonically but Jack didn't take the bait. He knew what she was trying to do and he wasn't going to let her. For what ever reason last night had gotten to her and she was much easier to get along with when she wasn't completely on her guard.  
  
"I need your phone." Jack said holding out his hand. Nina picked the phone up off the table and turned to hand it him. She paused for a second before placing it in his hand.  
  
"Before you make that call, we need to get something straight." Jack looked at her a bit apprehensively and she continued. "Our deal still stands. I will go back to CTU with you and I will tell you everything I know about the current situation, but I am going to need some form of written confirmation that I will be allowed to leave once I've done so. Call me paranoid, but I haven't exactly played by the rules in the past and I would hate for someone to lock me up and accidentally, on purpose throw away the key."  
  
"Fine." Jack said curtly and took the phone out of her hand; very relieved that was all she had wanted to talk about.   
  
As Nina watched Jack make the phone call to CTU she was very aware of the risk she was taking. She was also struck by the realization that this might be the first truly stupid move her life and she was still willing to see it through. It was the first real risk she had taken in years and she wasn't sure she had anything to stand from taking. 


End file.
